My story of Kate & Ramiro’s birth
Kate’s due date was last Thursday. April 21st. She decided to schedule an induction for Tuesday the 26th if labor didn’t begin spontaneously before.
On Saturday the 23rd, she called me to say that she was experiencing some bloody show and a few contractions, but nothing really painful. I prepared to be called to her home at any moment. I send her some helpful reminders about early labor and she sends back smiley emojis.
TEXTS
Monday 9:46 a.m.
B - good morning! I am stepping into the dentist office to get a cleaning and just wanted you to know that I may be unavailable by phone for the next hour. I'd love any updates that you are able to offer when the timing feels right.
K - hello been having contractions all night and this morning. Not quite go time to the hospital but I am taking your advice above
B - oh oh, so no induction?
K - I haven't heard from Doc yet but I am guessing no.
2:32 p.m.
K - Okay, spoke with Dr Lisner, my OB, she said they will try and schedule me for induction tomorrow sometime, thinking most first-timers will have a slow progress and need a little help. The floor has been very busy so I keep getting pushed back, which is fine. I will hopefully know more later tonight. Hopefully I will keep progressing and won't need it.
B - Yes, lnd is overfull today. They're short-staffed too, so you're good to just wait this out.
Tuesday 8:26 a.m.
K - hello Brenda. We are still at home doing our best but are really exhausted from being up all night with lots of intense contractions especially this morning. I spoke with the charge nurse and we are hopefully going to be able to go in tonight for an induction. This pain is getting unbearable. Contractions are still not quite 511 but the pain has intensified.
B - Oof! That sounds hard. What is the timing of the contractions? Any more bloody show? Maybe a chiropractic adjustment would help?
K - About 10 to 15 minutes apart now. This morning before 3 a.m. they were getting closer then they went 20-30 minutes apart, now 10-15. Still have a little mucus but a lot was passed this morning. I think I would be too exhausted to see a chiropractor. Trying to sleep where I can.
B - sleep is the most important. You may ask your doctor about taking some Tylenol PM. And once you've slept, do the Miles Circuit
K - Okay
7:15 p.m.
B - how are you?
K - At the hospital getting checked just to make sure the baby's okay. Waiting to hear back now what they want to do with me for induction, maybe tonight, most likely tomorrow
B - Will they give you something to relax?
K - I am thinking so to at least help me sleep for a couple of hours
B - for reals
K - We're staying the night here. Will induce tonight as well. I feel so much better
B - have you had an exam yet?
K - (1st check) yeah I was 1 cm. Baby's head is jammed in my pelvis like he's ready but I am not
B - Are they starting with Pitocin or a ripening agent?
K - Ripening agent
Wednesday 3:14 a.m.
R - Kate's been having contractions five minutes apart if not less. But pain is getting to be too much and she has requested the epidural.
B - sweet mama! I'm glad she was able to get that so she and you can finally rest. Be sure to let me know when you're ready for my in-person support. Sleep sweetly and know that I'm just a phone call away.
12:26 p.m.
R - thank you. Kate had pitocin this morning at 6:30 and had her water broken at 8:30. And 5 cm dilated (2nd check)
B - awesome! Well-rested?
R - Yes, I got a couple hours of quality rest.
B - Glad to hear that!
R - Kate is now 6 cm dilated, she is taking a nap. Not sure when we will start with the pushing. (3rd check)
B - Pushing comes when the urge hits. She must be completely dilated to 10. This 6 cm marks active labor finally! Remember I will come whenever you are both ready for me. If you're okay, that's fine too, I fully trust that you can do this! But I'm here! Much love!
R - Okay the doctors said it should be 1 cm per hour now. So maybe 5 p.m. would be a good time for you to come by. What do you think?
B - Sure!
R - Thank you
B - if things escalate and you want me sooner, just holler! I'm so proud of y'all!
4:23 p.m.
B - update? Do you still want me to come?
R - Waiting on the doctor for a checkup. If you wait a bit until we see the doctor?
B - Of course, thank you
R - doctor is still about 45 minutes from visiting us. Just updating you
B - I really appreciate it
6:58 p.m.
R - Dr. just checked Kate. Said she was 8 cm, baby's position is LOA. Got Kate turned around on all fours. This might be a good time to have you come over. (4th check)
B - Okay!
I arrive at 7:45pm
Brooke is her nurse. Kate is super nauseated so I get a cold cloth to wipe her face & neck. I put a drop of Peppermint on the cloth for her to breathe. I ask Brooke if she can have some zofran. She brings her a tablet and the nausea relieves a bit.
9pm - (5th check) Cervical Check, 8 cms, +1, Thicker on right side
IntraUterine Pressure Catheter is inserted to get a good reading on the strength of the contractions. They increase the pit to 14.
9:20pm - Dr. Lawson came in, helped rotate to hands & knees. Kate can’t keep a good grip on the back of the bed, so I get my Rebozo and thread it through the holes of the headboard. She holds onto the knot.
Urinalysis & labs drawn for preeclampsia. Urine is very dark.
I ask Kate to do some pelvic tilts and I shake the apples. Brooke comments on recognizing this strategy. I see her purple line and it’s nearly to the top.
10pm - (6th check)Dr Lawson checks and she’s now a full 9 cms
Doctor Lisner double checks and declares closer to 9.5
I put the bed in the throne position with handlebars and a squat bar.
10:20pm - Power outage and everything turns off. The backup system boots up so we have monitoring and a few lights in the room, but the bathroom light is completely out.
Nausea is back. She says it feels like a gas bubble, pushing out, I go get a Sprite so she can belch to get some relief. Kate wants to lie on her side, but the bed doesn't work - it wasn’t plugged in all the way. We finally find out the secret and get her flat to relax.
11:20pm - (7th check)Complete, +1/+2
First push in the throne position with a squat bar for about 20 minutes and then we turn over to hands & knees over the ball. She likes this because she can relax her abdomen.
I move Kate’s knees together and spread her ankles apart to widen the outlet.
12:30am - Anesthesia comes in to re-dose the epidural.
(8th check) Dr. Lisner reaches far into the birth canal to see if she can do a manual rotation of OP baby.
Baby’s position feels stubborn and doesn't want to budge. She asks Brooke if any of the nurses are Spinning Babies experts. I say that I know the drill.
I get Kate into a deep knee chest for 30 minutes, followed by side lying release on both sides. Her left side is so tight, her foot barely droops. I know this is what is holding the baby back.
I then place her in a deep pretzel position for tight left ligaments and scrounge every pillow I can find so she can rest in between.
2:20am - Antibiotics are started because all these deep cervical checks have caused her to run a temperature. She tries throne position with tug-of-war, using a draw sheet, knotted.
2:25am - Back to ball, active pushing. She begins a low roar.
3:40am - There has not been much progress, but the baby's head has been visible about silver dollar size for about 40".
Dr. Lisner talks about the options for a vacuum assisted delivery vs. vacuum to C-section vs, straight to C-section. Because there is a present Infection she is concerned about the uterus’ ability to finish the job of birth and clamp down after birth.
3:50am - We clear the room to give them some private time to discuss their options. I wait in the chair across from the room.
Ramiro comes out to say that they’ve decided on a cesarean assisted delivery. The doctor communicates all risks associated and they understand.
Brooke comes in to shave & prep Kate for surgery. She has IV pain so a new one is placed. Anesthesia came in to discuss expectations. A new catheter is put in.
They place 2 IVs in anticipation for a need for blood. Kate's so worried about how tired she is and what will happen postpartum. I let her know that we’ll cross that bridge later. For now, let’s just meet her baby and make one decision at a time. She nods. The team takes her back to the OR and gives Ramiro his scrubs to change into.
A male nurse comes to take Ramiro back at 5am. In less than 20 minutes a baby nurse pushes the bassinet into the room, followed by a stern-faced Ramiro. She picks up the baby and offers to swaddle him. I ask her if Ramiro can please just hold him skin to skin. She asks him if he’d like that and he nods emphatically. I asked if Kate would be joining us soon and the hesitance in the nurse’s face told me all I needed to know. There had been trauma.
Ramiro holds his son so lovingly and his emotions toggle between immense love and pride into worry and anxiety. I softly approached him and asked, “Things got intense in there, didn’t they?” Tears burst through his closed eyes and I ask, “Would it be okay if I gave you a hug?” He nodded quickly and I wrapped him in my arms. He sinks and sobs. This poor man is supplicating in the deepest parts of his soul that his Love, his Soulmate be lifted out of this moment of darkness. We release and I ask him if he’d like for me to go ask for an update. His tiny son cries out and then settles as his Daddy cuddles and coo’s at him with a soothing voice. He nods, yes and I go to find someone, anyone. The L&D desk is isolated. Not a soul to be found. My stomach lurches. I pray. Tears sting my eyelids and I have to find a bathroom. My stomach empties.
I hear voices and find two nurses at the station who reprimand me harshly. I let them know I was looking for someone to update this upset father. She sharply retorts that she has done so. I apologize and go back to the room.
Ramiro has brightened and he cannot hold back his smile. He says Kate is out of danger and that they are simply doing repairs. Baby Ramiro smacks and slurps at his chest and he giggles at his hunger and tenacity to locate a nipple, any nipple!
The baby nurse offers three options: to feed formula, to get donor milk or wait for Kate to return from surgery. They need to make sure the baby is fed within the first 2 hours after birth and we’re reaching that milestone quickly. Ramiro decides on donor milk, which will take a few minutes to thaw and prepare in a syringe for finger feeding.
I ask if they measured the baby and Ramiro provides the following statistics:
Time of birth: 5:02am, Weight: 8.5 pounds, Length: 21.5
At the same moment the milk arrives, Kate is returned to her room. Once settled, Ramiro brings her son to her face. Her tired eyes close as she breathes him in. She whispers softly to him that all is well.
Ramiro asks her about the donor milk and she nods approvingly. She’s so exhausted and she knows her baby needs to be fed. Her mother's instincts are fully present and she chooses to make his comfort a priority. The sweet family bonds peacefully and I begin to tidy their belongings. The room becomes quiet and I know that they need privacy and rest. I gather my doula bag contents and prepare to leave. I let them know that I will check in on them, and only if they have the energy, I’d like to know how they’re progressing. I press kisses to my hand and my hand to their cheeks. This is love. It has no choice but to grow and flourish.
